prison of repentance

Locked behind the iron bars,
I stand alone, grieved,
Eerie silence that dwells here,
Chains that cut my feet,

Blue my nails, cracked my skin,
Dark circle round my eyes,
Repentance breaking me within,
My conscience dogs me,

Past flashes on the walls around,
And I burn in melancholy,
I live in this dark domain,
Silent, unaccompanied,

Banging my head with the walls,
I run from memories,
With cruel, cryptic, evil way,
My past haunts me,

I miss my days of teenage life,
My veins, replete with energy,
I miss my loving widowed mom,
Her talks, her lullabies,

I think of my lovely girlfriend,
Calling her “sugar” and “honey”
The love disguised in her eyes,
Meant everything to me,

The rainy days, the moonlit nights,
The freshness of daisies,
And my simply furnished rooms,
My medals and trophies,

I remember the date well,
It’s September 23,
Six years back, ‘twas the same day,
I topped in F.Sc,

My achievement shining in my eyes,
Entrance in the university,
The cold eyes of the elite,
Mocking at my simplicity,

Rage ran in my veins,
Ego shouted back at me,
Emotional, I chose the path to damnation,
Went for “what” fascinated me,

Cigarette fuming in my hands,
The smoke “satisfying” me,
Loaded cigarettes and new drugs,
Filled my corpse with “glee”,

Left my relations behind,
Finally, I was all free,
I went on “making merry”,
Evil deeds—my dignity,

I kept running behind my wishes,
Nothingness ended up my ecstasy,
Too blind to see my own hands,
I was insolvent and guilty,

Locked behind the iron bars,
I stand alone, grieved,
Eerie silence that dwells here,
Chains that cut my feet

i know you know and understand me

I know you know and understand me,
I’m daddy’s girl, I worship thee,
Who am I? A part of thy divine entity,
Embodiment of love, that God calls “mommy”
I know you know and understand me…

I see you in pain; I’m so helpless, I’m sorry,
You conceal your pain saying, “I’m ok, don’t worry.”
For doctors and nurses, “just another patient”,
Your endurance, dividing my soul into fragments,
I know you know and understand me….

Wiping off my tears, my ears, pierced,
Your touch, your embrace, fading my fears,
And now pierced are the arms that hid me,
Pick up the stick, with which you hit me,
I know you know and understand me…

Unshed tears in my soul, wipe them with your shaking hands,
My smile disguises my agony, the gravity you understand,
And it doesn’t matter if you hear me or not,
For I love you, I love you a lot,
I know you know and understand me…

Dead hour of this night, haunting melancholy,
Simple clothes, grey hair, fragile body,
Just once, caress my hair, sing that lullaby,
Just once, immerse me in your profundity,
You know I’m too weak to suffer my decisions,
I’m breaking up gluing these relations,
I’m a feeble part of your divine entity,
I know you know and understand me…

we..the people

This place full of people like me,
We people, a burden to earth,
Every sight ignores and loathes,
We people, having the same story….

We people, old and weak,
Bearing punishment for our deeds,
Good old days, that’s what we see,
These last days, asking for charity…

And we have the same memories,
Dejected for our insanity,
And it’s the time we pass,
Reigning a domain of poverty,

This world replete of relations,
Ours, a kingdom of grief,
Each having subtle imagination,
The feelings, the gravity,

Strangers are we, but the same,
Similar backgrounds, lofty aims,
And we miss the fireplaces,
As memories cast their images,

Dewy eyes, that still await,
In this moment of silence, solace,
Hands shaking, and sinks this evening,
In lonely, unknown places,

Fragile veins, hair grey and silvery,
Painting on my canvas, a strange imagery,
Hopes sinking in this dark estuary,
“Old home” or a forgotten cemetery…

the disguised beauty……….

Time to get up, disturbed my sleep,
As the alarm noisily beeps,
Reminder of the night party,
Displays my N-73,

Get up from my cozy bed,
I stretch my arms and read,
6.33, as the clock says,
Time to get ready,

Unlock my closet, which brand to wear,
H.S.Y, Nina or Levi’s,
Necklace of black diamonds, blue pearls,
I decide for my jewellery,

My hair dyed brigantine,
Scrubbed my hands and feet,
Waxed arms, the wet hair look,
Shall make tonight my treat,

My eyes brows plucked, polished nails,
My slim sensuous body,
“MAC” is the best to wear,
Along with Gucci Envy me…

Now I’m all set and done,
In this strapless, backless maxi,
Such a “turn on” for the people,
My razor sharpened heels,

I look in the mirror again,
“To hell with simplicity”
Smoking out my favourite cigarette,
I leave for the night’s party,

Laughing at the people chasing,
I drive recklessly,
“How this world goes mad!”
“For my popularity”,

My glossy lips, a wicked smile,
Eyes so big and smoky,
Call me the way you like,
“Emblem of bewitching beauty”,

Walking around the casino,
Cast my shadow on the bar,
I pass away, as they greet,
Tempted by my sensuality,

An eager fellow holds my hand,
To himself, pulls me,
Involved in a passionate kiss,
I caress his body…

Scratch my nails on his back,
The tighter he holds me,
And with raging desire,
Feels my delicacy,

I take him to another world,
Absorbed in my fragrant body,
The wine dropping off my hazel eyes,
Lustrous than Champaign, whiskey,

And the game goes on,
And the night sweeps,
Satisfaction knowing no limits,
Time extending to immortality,

Over the game, I push him hard,
Kick him as he holds me,
“You crazy, emotional fool!”,
“I belong not to thee,”

“I play in every man’s arms,
Each tempted and hungry,
You dwell in a euphoric world,
And I, devoid of sincerity,”

“You grow old, I stay young,
Stab another pray as you leave,
I stand there, fragile, virgin,
Curse the moment you made love to me,”

“I am your days; I am your nights,
The aim and axis of your life,
I buy your souls, your faith, your honesty,
Disguised in beauty, I’m the cruel money”