a performer’s story

The stage, the spectators, the thrill, the same,
the lights, the eyes, the hooting the same,
performer anonymous, performance the name,
just a person paid to entertain…

unseen the person in this performing entity,
forgotten the feelings in the dark domain,
an amalgamation of body and creativity,
few moments of enthusiasm, they remain…..

Performer number 2, that is my name,
Bestowed upon me, sights of disdain,
Entangled my body, in these fake chains,
Truth surrenders, lies reign,

With trumpets, you welcome this sensual diva,
The enthusiasm, the joy, that I sustain,
Few thousand rupees a price of all this,
If not this, everything going in vain,

A query my soul now declaims,
The answer in thoughts, always detains,
If I be the hallmark of disgrace and shame,
Are you spectators, not insane?

A need of society, yet disclaimed,
In every verse of the respected saints,
Fulfilling all the social claims,
Imprisoned in this lustrous frame,

Ignited by this cruel flame,
Cruxes my soul, with anguish and pain
And you spectators, you are deranged,
You’re the same I’m proclaimed

the last prelude

Take me with you this time,
Come, hold my hand,
I have run after you
In all domains, lands…

Yelling at life in utter fear,
Glimpses of you….you disappear…
Chasing you in all labyrinths of life…
Unpaved paths where hope dies

Come and show me your beauteous face,
Take me over with eternal grace,
Let the real and abstract unite,
I‘ve chased you all my life….

I’ve searched for you in sleepless nights,
Burning photographs, barren shrines,
Broken promises, paradoxical lines,
Tarnished dynasties of aims sublime,

As in the sky sinks the sun,
On the threshold of the dark kingdom,
In the dead land of joy and glee,
Nothingness, ecstasy!

Looking for you in the lunar eclipse,
Where no ego and rage exists,
In moments, I was lonely, desperate,
End the chapter, “decree of fate”

For the last time, come to me,
Take me to my last journey,
Where no love, no grief prevails,
Come “death”, it’s time to navigate…

memories, don’t go to that city…

Memories, don’t go to that city,
You touch the past; you play with melancholy,
You bring an ocean of tears and agony,
I never die, kill me, burn me, and slay me,
Subject me to extremes, lines of infinity,
Go away; I want to be unaccompanied,
Memories, don’t go to that city…

You lie in every photograph and statue,
Chasing the one who tries to eschew
And magical is the way you adduce,
Preface of hope, the forgotten prelude,
The story of life, the autumn interlude,
Memories , don’t go to that city…

Memories, don’t do to that city,
Nay! Touch him not; he’s so lonely,
The castle of spirits sheds to remains,
Shatters this ossified, dark domain,
Entangled his soul, in virtual images,
Lost, in the labyrinth of unknown phases,
Memories, don’t go to that city…

Memories, don’t go to that city,
A heart bleeds in this moment of merry,
You dig the sacrifice, silence, solace,
Whom to please, No one at my place,
I burn in the hell of queries to ignite this heaven,
As you fall in me as rivers in the ocean,
Story of life begins with the chapter of pain,
The chapter of sufferings, the pages of disdain,
A life ruined for a thousand lives,
Sadness palls my days and my nights,
Memories, don’t go to that city…

Memories don’t go to that city,
A fable trembles in this damned cemetery,
The nature weeps, and I with monsoon,
I am a tempted sea in the full moon,
You dwell in the ashes of these cigarettes,
And you live on the mist on my wickets,
you dwell in these poems and these letters,
On the barren trees and the carols,
Go away; I have no words tonight,
No verses to narrate and to rhyme,
I am the diminishing moon in eclipse,
Here resides no delight, no bliss,
Don’t shatter this castle of spirits,
Memories, don’t go to that city…

i know you know and understand me

I know you know and understand me,
I’m daddy’s girl, I worship thee,
Who am I? A part of thy divine entity,
Embodiment of love, that God calls “mommy”
I know you know and understand me…

I see you in pain; I’m so helpless, I’m sorry,
You conceal your pain saying, “I’m ok, don’t worry.”
For doctors and nurses, “just another patient”,
Your endurance, dividing my soul into fragments,
I know you know and understand me….

Wiping off my tears, my ears, pierced,
Your touch, your embrace, fading my fears,
And now pierced are the arms that hid me,
Pick up the stick, with which you hit me,
I know you know and understand me…

Unshed tears in my soul, wipe them with your shaking hands,
My smile disguises my agony, the gravity you understand,
And it doesn’t matter if you hear me or not,
For I love you, I love you a lot,
I know you know and understand me…

Dead hour of this night, haunting melancholy,
Simple clothes, grey hair, fragile body,
Just once, caress my hair, sing that lullaby,
Just once, immerse me in your profundity,
You know I’m too weak to suffer my decisions,
I’m breaking up gluing these relations,
I’m a feeble part of your divine entity,
I know you know and understand me…

last rocked cradle

The cradle still makes the sound,
Memories going round and round,
Looking at my wife, her wrinkles, her hands,
Seeking for this life, a calm end…

Tears dropping from the sere eyes,
Images haunting every night,
Entangled in apprehensions, looms,
We dwell here, forgotten, aloof…

Narrates the tales, this teddy bear,
Fading away my doll’s fears,
The balls, the crayons, the playdough, the kite,
Silence slays me, in this plight…

Divine is the feeling of being complete,
Palling the pain of pregnancy,
Anticipations and dreams we weave,
For the unborn entity,

Holding the child in our hands,
It’s where you touch divinity,
The moment enclosing the whole life,
When she called me “mommy”

The teething days, the baby talks,
Comprehending every word unsaid,
Her fragile fingers holding my hand,
Her stammered steps, her little feet,

Her pretty frocks, her acts of mischief,
Her school days, her innocent worries,
Dance, debates, studies being the passion,
Taking my weariness, “I love you daddy”

She walks on this path to success,
Left behind are mom and daddy,
“Life is so tough you know,
I have less time for studies”

“Time has passed, so has life,
Your ideas—old, obsolete,
No one cares for values now,
Stay in euphoric world of dreams!”

The delicate fingers don’t need our hands,
Know the way, the fragile feet,
Understanding every word unsaid,
Now we are “examples of stupidity”,

Forgotten the days of my pain,
Forgotten the nights we stayed awake,
Forgotten the desires we sacrificed,
To remember this all is our destiny,

“Return to us our life,
Return to us the days, the nights,
Return to us the diligence, the youth,
Return to me, my nine months,
Return to us our smiles,
Return to us, for this is all we ask about,
These twenty three years of our life”

the decree of fate

My life a stage and I a puppet,
Strings in the hand of fate— the authority,
The fingers play with the chains of life,
And I walk on my path to destiny,

The hand pulls the strings and I,
Resist it; deny it, with virility,
I cry, I yell, I rebel, I plea,
I withdraw again helplessly,

And the magma erupts within,
To break the chains vehemently,
Desire to steal the forbidden joys,
My hands are cut mercilessly,

The chains tighten and pull me,
Oscillate me in kingdoms of ecstasy, agony,
Crushing my feelings, slaughtering my dreams,
I fall a victim to infinite vagaries.

I shout at the hand that reigns,
Bleeding, I ask for a moment of mercy,
Visible to me is than my decree,
My life captured by catalepsy….

nay!!!!!

I play the notes in your eyes,
Serenity in your silence is the theme,
In these eyes, I see love immortal,
Scriptures on love, they laud, they speak,

The finger playing on the keys,
With your spell, you captivate me,
The rhyme your heart sings to mine,
An ode to simplicity,

Sinks in this kaajal, darkness of this night,
My poetry in motion, sits by my side…
Stars in the sky, in these eyes, they shine,
Innocence, purity, a majestic reprise!

Your “la la la la” on my oblivion,
Your hazel pearls, dance, mesmerize,
Forgive me Lord, I worship these eyes,
Worshiping with heart and soul, infinitely…

tune of life

I play the notes in your eyes,
Serenity in your silence is the theme,
In these eyes, I see love immortal,
Scriptures on love, they laud, they speak,

The finger playing on the keys,
With your spell, you captivate me,
The rhyme your heart sings to mine,
An ode to simplicity,

Sinks in this kaajal, darkness of this night,
My poetry in motion, sits by my side…
Stars in the sky, in these eyes, they shine,
Innocence, purity, a majestic reprise!

Your “la la la la” on my oblivion,
Your hazel pearls, dance, mesmerize,
Forgive me Lord, I worship these eyes,
Worshiping with heart and soul, infinitely…

celebration of rain

As the myrtle leaves its color on my hands,
Refresh these fields with your bliss, O rain!
O Clouds! Play as long as these bangles jingle,
O Thunderclap! In my domain, sound your bugle!

Wash our sins as you wash the trees,
Seduce me with gentle breeze,
Rain drops dance as long as my anklets,
For replete with glee is my casket,

Fragrant are these corn fields, ecstatic, monsoon,
Divine the air, pure the noon,
I am immersed, in this moment of delight!
And I run after what is born with rain and light!

Zephyr touching me, rain kissing my face,
I am a paragon of joy and grace,
I run after sparrows on the winding way,
This moment so effulgent, brilliant and gay,

I sing a song, echoes the well,
Let my soul journey with you, when you wash this “kaajal”
The stream flows, and rain with the tea,
Take me to your destiny that be,

Enter my veins, you aroma, initial,
Long live the innocence of the sweet angels,
I run after the clouds on the brook,
For glee resides today in my hood…